Welcome to the 4th gift in Resiliency Workshop

No. 4.  Diva Breathe
Generous people breathe deep but real divas let it go...Think Pavarotti.

This fourth of eight gifts in the Resiliency Workshop is about checking in to something so close to us, so common & necessary, that we forget its miraculous power... to soothe us and to clarify what is right in front of us; our breath.  

​We have all we need in this moment to pause and be with our breath... and our exhale.
 
It is where we will find (and have always found...) our power to be and do what must be done.


1.

Video: What you Can Expect

Hello again,
​
We can't be too aware of our breath, or too trusting of our well and wondrously-made bodies.  

Try it & see for yourself.

Rev. EM
Diva Breathe Intro
Many little videos like this one will guide you through
​the eight steps to resilience. 
A SWEET SMALL STEP, like your breath, is powerful.
No matter what stressors you find yourself within. Incrementally practiced, you can return to your center quickly... and that, my friend, makes it a better day.

​It's simple...but not easy to stay mindful about it.
David Whyte, the poet, talks about the stresses & stories we hold in our bodies as seasonal visitations... necessary but temporary until we allow them to move on... and we can move to a better story (one that fits us now).
The antidote to despair is not to be found in the brave attempt to cheer ourselves up with happy abstracts, but in paying a profound and courageous attention to the body and the breath, independent of our inprisioning thoughts and stories, even strangely, in paying attention to despair itself, and the way we hold it, and which we realize, was never ours to own and to hold in the first place. To see and experience despair fully in our body is to begin to see it as a necessary, seasonal visitation, and the first step in letting it have its own life, neither holding it nor moving it on before its time.  
​
 - David Whyte, Consolations: The Solace, Nourishment & Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words

2.

Listen to the Audio of the Chapter...

Gift No. 4 - Diva Breathe
Generous people breathe deep but real divas let it go.

3.

Process:​  Slow & Conscious Breathing

Humans have issues with the lack of control (... that's an understatement.)

Letting go of the notions of control is worth practicing.  Our breath is an easy & very important place to do so... (Take a Diva Breath.) ​

Imagine someone or something that makes you smile Breathe it in. Hold it & let it light you up. Exhale fully...(& expressively like a diva) all that is NOT yours to do right now. Smile & repeat. The power is in your intention. ​

The smiling part, is as Thich Nhat Hahn recommended, for conscious breathing.  Simple and so effective.

Focus on your breath... Don't change anything.  Take one minute to just notice. No judgment... just be with it.

Place your attention on your inhale. 
​  •  Where is your breath centered? 
  •  In your chest? 
  •  In your abdomen? 
  •  Is it full or shallow? 
  •  Soft and smooth?
  •  Forced and tense?  

Now, place your attention on your exhale.

Do you trust your body to release tension & stress?  Repeat the exercise above but this time place awareness on your exhale.  

Imagine seeing your stress disperse... as much as it can. Don’t demand complete discharge. Take the attitude that your body will let go of as much stored trauma or disturbances as it is able to. ​

Do this each day for 2 minutes...  One minute each & remember, sweet, small steps yield big results.

Set a timer on your phone at a convenient mid-point of your day to remember.  

Another method to remember this new habit: might be whenever you begin a specific task: when you take a bathroom break or get a glass of water, or hang up the phone or some other action-metric in your day.  It's called 'habit stacking' from the book Atomic Habits. (Great book...I recommend it.)
Try this Process
This micro-video will help you through the process...with some tips on relaxation breaths & allowing the body to do what it was designed to do...be well and wondrously made.

4.

Questions to Write About ...because your experience matters.
Write in a journal you already have or print out this DIY resiliency journal  to consider your experiences more thoroughly.


Click the icon to the right
​to download journal pages.
  1. How aware are you of your breath throughout your day?  When do you hold it?  Flow with it?  Force it?  Forget about it?

  2. How comfortable are you breathing deeply? 
    Do you breathe deeply at any point in your day?  When you breathe deeply what do you notice?

  3. When you exhale do you truly exhale all of the air out of your system? 
    ​Does your breath stay caught in your body?  Do you exhale deep from the abdomen?

  4. How comfortable are you with letting go? 
    Of your breath?  Your frustrations?  Your sorrows?  Your regrets? 
    ​
  5. Take a breath right now and really let it go, with sounds and sighs... all of it.  Take another.  Take one more.  What do you notice?

5.

Diva Breathe- GIFT No. 4
Read Along with the audio

GENEROUS PEOPLE BREATHE DEEP BUT REAL DIVAS LET IT GO.
THINK PAVAROTTI. 


In caregiving, even a small spark in the dark is a great mercy. Being full or running on empty is in my control (which so little else that matters is). There is always something within me to tap this sap. The unexpected frequently happens. It shifts my day and (miraculously) it twinkles back at me. This benign wink from the Universe reminds me that life is full of commas: pause, Wait Here, and keep breathing. 
​

MY MOTHER WAS COMPLICATED AND SHE WAS MY HERO. I WOULD like you to know her. Through her grit and integrity, she made a good life. It was also a better world for me because of some of the things my mother didn’t do. She didn’t ‘let the bastards get you down.’ I can still hear her saying this. It was her standard pep talk. It helped. So did our camaraderie over a Hendrick’s martini in a dark and upscale restaurant after a long day. 

ON MOST DAYS, A GOOD LIFE WAS REMEDY ENOUGH. THAT AND AN exceptional exhale. It sounded to most like an exasperated sigh, but I came to understand it differently. I came to remember it better. 

ANY CHANGE IS CHALLENGING—ESPECIALLY ONES NOT OF YOUR OWN making—like illness. 

EVEN THOSE YOU CHOOSE, CAN BE FRUSTRATING OR DANGEROUS. Unless you have lived “an interesting life” (the fortune cookie curse) as Betty did, you might not have experienced drowning in the cultural air that is supposed to support you. We “fish” (who try something new with our lives...) are more likely to glimpse the water in which we all swim—by being thrown out of the pond. If you have, you will forever see your world, differently. Trying to breathe differently—like in air, for example, is even more hazardous and complicated. 

THE BEST FISH DON’T EVOLVE; THEY ARE AT THE TOP OF THEIR watery game; they breathe water just fine. It’s those edgy fishies, having lungs or legs, who give their all for change: they innovate. 

BETTY TRIED SOMETHING NEW AND LIVED A FULL LIFE. WE MET THE opposition together. I walked with her as far as I could, but she’s gone now. It is my turn—to breathe fully and deeply. Betty had a good time and left the world just a little bit better for her daughter, son, granddaughters, grandson, and others. She took care of herself and her responsibilities. 

IT WAS LIKE BREATHING FOR HER – DIVA BREATHING. 
​

Diva Breathe 

ONE OF THE FIRST RULES OF CARING FOR YOURSELF AND OTHERS  is an extreme exhale. 
It allows for a glamorous and sensational inhale: expiration... inspiration. Let go of what is done. Be generous with your exhale. 

YOU ARE FEEDING FORESTS.

I DON’T BREATHE WELL. IT’S UNCONSCIOUS. I shallow breathe or hold my breath—never really letting things go. I only take the minimum I need because I have been so afraid for so long that my house of cards would collapse. 

OXYGEN IS FOOD. INEFFECTIVE BREATHING IS LIKE STARVING AT your own banquet. 
Breathing in is nourishment. Why hoard my exhale? Some wellness experts believe it is the cause of most illness. The respiratory system can eliminate 70% of our metabolic waste. Our remaining human elimination systems are defecation at only 3%, urination at 8%, and perspiration 19%. 

DO YOU WANT TO RUN A CLEAN SHIP OR TO LIVE IN A DIRTY HOUSE? Give a generous exhale. 

Let go of what has expired and is no longer working. A structural sigh surrenders control (which we don’t have) and steps you into the moment (which we do). OXYGEN IS ENERGY. IT’S FREE AND OUR FIRST AND LAST TASTE OF this world. 

Breathe in fully and we will have more than enough to live well, to love well, and to create—even when it’s not well. It’s circulation. I take it in, receiving more, and have more to give. It’s physics—not even metaphysics (but that too). 

NOW THAT MY MOTHER IS DEAD AND OUR ELEVEN-YEAR CARETAKING house-of-cards has collapsed, I am seeing things differently. I am breathing for me but also for the “us” of that bond, perhaps only until I figure out what is dead and what wants to live in this “good-daughter-in-mourning” that I have become. If you’re still breathing, this is your season, too. Breathe it in. Breath is your first music. Listen. 
​
GENEROUS PEOPLE BREATHE DEEP BUT REAL DIVAS LET IT GO.

THINK Pavarotti.
Breathe as Presence
A SOUND MEDITATION  about breath
Help is a breath of fresh air and appreciated. Will you help me?

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​THANK YOU.
 
Rev. EM