Welcome to the 3rd gift in Resiliency Workshop
No. 3. Etak Compass
|
|
Staying centered at your core is a powerful rudder of authenticity.
This rule is about getting reacquainted with your true north: your unique and 'right fitting' thing that you are. I say 'reacquainted" because we all come from the same Great Mystery, where we were (and are) well and wondrously made – even if you have gotten off track.
Many traditionally religious folks, as well as the more mystical spiritual paths see healing (or just a good life) linked to the wholeness of staying centered at your core. What do you call it? The kingdom of god within; heart; oneness; mindfulness? Or the Maker of all Things, or Spirit, or the unnamable One, or (just) God.
Finding our center: It's "the WHERE" to Begin Again.
All the gifts are about starting again... in the present moment, at THIS center. It is where we will find (and have always found...) our power to be and do what must be done... and to discern what it is.
How? Navigate to happier with each step.
Finding your center, or re-discovering it, is where the power is and where it has always been. It is where my power is. It is where your power is hidden, too. It's the "kingdom of God within."
There is an ancient 5000 plus year-old Hindu story. It says that humans were at one time gods, but they abused their power. Brahma, the creator God, took away their divinity and hid it in a place humans would never be likely to look for it... within.How do we find center after, perhaps, years of not listening to this inner voice? (The 'still, small voice within' is still waiting, here at our center.) We begin again by listening for our joy, choosing more happiness and to worry less about things you cannot affect.
Too ridiculously simple? Simple is a powerful focus.
Do more of what is joyful and working for you. Do less of what is not. We understand by contrast. We can map and track it, consciously. What gives you more and lasting happiness and satisfaction? What choice in this moment will give you less anxiety and worry. We do it one step at a time– in increments and sweet small steps.
1. |
Video: What you can expect |
|
Hello again,
Please approach these gifts with a sense of adventure and curiosity... and maybe even a bit of fun. We will go there together. Rev. EM |
Many little videos like this will guide you through
the eight steps to resilience. |
2. |
Listen to the Audio of the chapter...
|
Gift No. 3 - Etak Compass
Our longings and discontents are inner guidance
3. |
Process: Navigating to True North
|
|
We navigate with both landmarks and cardinal directions of the heart to true North.
|
we have and following Higher guidance of the Heart, of Love, or of Spirit. This process will be choosing a couple of things and thinking about the contrast. It is a place found between comfort and risk; the old and the new. The parts of us we know and, maybe, parts of us we don't.
This process is about our inner maps and following guidance. We will be choosing both:
• Make a comfortable choice and
• Then make a second choice but outside your comfort zone
|
First: Set aside 30 minutes tomorrow or in the next few days to do something you know is yours to do... make it very comforting and comfortable, which is good. Life does not necessarily have to be so stressful. We can choose to take a pause, slow down. Wait Here. Take a minute for a quick inventory. What we do, is less important here, than how we do it. In this small comfort, we find center. |
|
Second:
Select a second related activity or thing or something that you are not as familiar with… that feels a bit more outside your comfort zone and do that. In this too, find center.
What did you notice, learn and discover about navigating theses two things?
EXAMPLES:
1. An easy example is perhaps you buy perfect shirt on the Internet… which is your favorite. I like black but I am trying to introduce more color into what I wear. My perfect t-shirt is cotton has sleeves that come to my elbows and a v-neck: all my favorites. So for the other thing, I might try something just a little different: I try the same t-shirt in purple to see how it is wearing that color.
2. Another more challenging example might be that I love figurative drawing but I am so busy, I haven’t done it in ages… So I make a point to sketch from photos this week. For the more risk-oriented choice, I might look up a meet-up of a figure drawing gathering and go. Or maybe I go to the park for 30 minutes and sketch people there.
3. Another example might be that I love to watch dancing on the T.V. Maybe I might find and watch a dance movie or a dance program each week (or better yet record it so I can watch it anytime…) For the more risky maybe I go to an exercise dance class, or take a lesson with a class.
Don’t endanger yourself, of course. This is a process about our inner maps and what it feels like to step outside them vs. staying in them ... but mostly about navigating to true north for us at this point in time. It’s about a right fit, right now.
Sweet small steps are key.
Select a second related activity or thing or something that you are not as familiar with… that feels a bit more outside your comfort zone and do that. In this too, find center.
What did you notice, learn and discover about navigating theses two things?
EXAMPLES:
1. An easy example is perhaps you buy perfect shirt on the Internet… which is your favorite. I like black but I am trying to introduce more color into what I wear. My perfect t-shirt is cotton has sleeves that come to my elbows and a v-neck: all my favorites. So for the other thing, I might try something just a little different: I try the same t-shirt in purple to see how it is wearing that color.
2. Another more challenging example might be that I love figurative drawing but I am so busy, I haven’t done it in ages… So I make a point to sketch from photos this week. For the more risk-oriented choice, I might look up a meet-up of a figure drawing gathering and go. Or maybe I go to the park for 30 minutes and sketch people there.
3. Another example might be that I love to watch dancing on the T.V. Maybe I might find and watch a dance movie or a dance program each week (or better yet record it so I can watch it anytime…) For the more risky maybe I go to an exercise dance class, or take a lesson with a class.
Don’t endanger yourself, of course. This is a process about our inner maps and what it feels like to step outside them vs. staying in them ... but mostly about navigating to true north for us at this point in time. It’s about a right fit, right now.
Sweet small steps are key.
Journal about this on the PDF pages provided below or in the journal of your choice.
4. |
Questions to write about ...because your experience matters. |
|
Write in a journal you already have or make this DIY resiliency journal ...
Download the PDF pages at right: |
Click to download PDFs of journal pages for this chapter.
|
- What is your experience with your True North? What guides you in your heart of hearts? What is yours to do? What keeps you on course when things change? Is it felt in your mind? or your body?
- How does knowing your True North support you during challenging times?
- When Gertrude Stein said, "Let me listen to me, & not to them." What was she getting at? How are you putting your needs, & your desires aside for those whom you are caring? How might you soften, and center to find a better balance?
- What longings and discontents have you been trying to ignore? What wisdom are they whispering to you? How are you being asked to shift?
- What sustaining practices center you, even as life's currents pull at you? Begin a list of re-balancing practices. As something occurs to you, during this eight gift process, write it down. It is important to remember & practice because they are sustaining and you matter.
5. |
Etak Compass - GIFT No. 3
|
|
|
OUR LONGINGS AND DISCONTENTS ARE INNER GUIDANCE.
When I was a child, my mother seemed to always Stay Full and navigate obstacles optimistically. As an adult, I saw that she stumbled—like everyone else. WE CANNOT ALWAYS BE CHEERFUL COHORTS AND HONOR THE ROAD —the road that no one wants to be on but everyone wants to be done with. Our journey is downhill and inward to our own shadow lands. If we are willing, and lucky, we will be |
Etak Compass
ETAK IS THE ORAL TRADITION OF MICRONESIAN NAVIGATION, WHICH uses no instruments or technical manuals.
Outrigger canoes, paddled by Palu masters, travel a mapless ocean with etak guidance. Sure, they use knowledge of stars, swells, seasons, currents and creatures of the sea and air like other navigators, but the focus and force for a Palu master is that his canoe is stationary—the islands move on the sea around him. He is the heart of it all– at the core. He is at the still point and is as sure of this, as we Westerners are that the canoe is moving.
HE IS THE STILL POINT.
DELUSIONAL? SELF-CENTERED? THE ULTIMATE IN NARCISSISM? IT has been working for their extended voyages for millennia— holding to their own center.
• • •
HOW DO WE NAVIGATE WHEN WHAT WE KNOW FOR SURE CHANGES SO completely? The maps change underneath us. Caregivers know the stressors of navigating without landmarks, day after day.
IN THE DESIRE TO BE KNOWN, OR LOYAL, OR TO DO THE RIGHT thing, I lost my bearings for such an interval that I misplaced my center and my world became untethered. I was other-centered. A focus on self-care would have helped but it seemed, at the time, so...selfish. (Oh my, what big boundaries you have...) However, caregiving is not a sprint, and self-care is essential for the long distance journey of caregiving. Who hasn’t heard this from the mouths of well-meaning observers? But how?
IMAGINE OUR LONGINGS AND OUR DISCONTENTS AS INNER guidance:
Our longings and discontents are personalized and constantly updating how-to maps. Their voices are directly from our hearts, waiting for us to listen. Even if you wall them off for a lifetime, they will continue to wait for you (all the time whispering...) until you exhaust all other possibilities for authentic navigation and finally attend. It’s like discovering gold when we do. Until then we are brave explorers in other people’s stories but tend to misplace our own God-given narratives.
WE CEASE TO BE THE HINGE, BUT BECOME UNHINGED OR THE ultimate in co-dependence—making others our center and sole focus.
FOR THE PROLONGED CAREGIVING VOYAGE, IT’S A COMMON DILEMMA —to misplace our center. I knew better than to make Betty my nucleus...but it is so easy to become disoriented in the self-sacrifice of another life-and-death drama. If you have your core compass anchored in someone, who is now dizzily free-floating in illness and shifting from earth to cosmos, getting lost increases to otherworldly dimensions to become a fun house (funny-farm) ride. As a hospice chaplain, I must say that this is not a bad thing— to not be of this world—but it’s not yet your thing. It is not yet your time. It’s their journey.
MODERN MEDICINE HAS CHANGED THE FACE OF DEATH. ATUL Gawande in Being Mortal characterizes today’s aging as ‘the fade to fragility”. It is no longer the cliff of a quick death. Now our caregiving is confronted with incremental but profound choices. Our goal is to provide what comfort we are able and watch over them for many years. In this blessing (...and curse), I must remember how to equally value what is happening under my own skin. I must hold to the rudder of my own heart-center to stay oriented on this side of the veil, or we will all be lost in a vast ocean.
WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF I WERE AS INTENT AS A PALAU MASTER? It had been a long time since I asked myself what I wanted. What if my center was my compass?
Outrigger canoes, paddled by Palu masters, travel a mapless ocean with etak guidance. Sure, they use knowledge of stars, swells, seasons, currents and creatures of the sea and air like other navigators, but the focus and force for a Palu master is that his canoe is stationary—the islands move on the sea around him. He is the heart of it all– at the core. He is at the still point and is as sure of this, as we Westerners are that the canoe is moving.
HE IS THE STILL POINT.
DELUSIONAL? SELF-CENTERED? THE ULTIMATE IN NARCISSISM? IT has been working for their extended voyages for millennia— holding to their own center.
• • •
HOW DO WE NAVIGATE WHEN WHAT WE KNOW FOR SURE CHANGES SO completely? The maps change underneath us. Caregivers know the stressors of navigating without landmarks, day after day.
IN THE DESIRE TO BE KNOWN, OR LOYAL, OR TO DO THE RIGHT thing, I lost my bearings for such an interval that I misplaced my center and my world became untethered. I was other-centered. A focus on self-care would have helped but it seemed, at the time, so...selfish. (Oh my, what big boundaries you have...) However, caregiving is not a sprint, and self-care is essential for the long distance journey of caregiving. Who hasn’t heard this from the mouths of well-meaning observers? But how?
IMAGINE OUR LONGINGS AND OUR DISCONTENTS AS INNER guidance:
Our longings and discontents are personalized and constantly updating how-to maps. Their voices are directly from our hearts, waiting for us to listen. Even if you wall them off for a lifetime, they will continue to wait for you (all the time whispering...) until you exhaust all other possibilities for authentic navigation and finally attend. It’s like discovering gold when we do. Until then we are brave explorers in other people’s stories but tend to misplace our own God-given narratives.
WE CEASE TO BE THE HINGE, BUT BECOME UNHINGED OR THE ultimate in co-dependence—making others our center and sole focus.
FOR THE PROLONGED CAREGIVING VOYAGE, IT’S A COMMON DILEMMA —to misplace our center. I knew better than to make Betty my nucleus...but it is so easy to become disoriented in the self-sacrifice of another life-and-death drama. If you have your core compass anchored in someone, who is now dizzily free-floating in illness and shifting from earth to cosmos, getting lost increases to otherworldly dimensions to become a fun house (funny-farm) ride. As a hospice chaplain, I must say that this is not a bad thing— to not be of this world—but it’s not yet your thing. It is not yet your time. It’s their journey.
MODERN MEDICINE HAS CHANGED THE FACE OF DEATH. ATUL Gawande in Being Mortal characterizes today’s aging as ‘the fade to fragility”. It is no longer the cliff of a quick death. Now our caregiving is confronted with incremental but profound choices. Our goal is to provide what comfort we are able and watch over them for many years. In this blessing (...and curse), I must remember how to equally value what is happening under my own skin. I must hold to the rudder of my own heart-center to stay oriented on this side of the veil, or we will all be lost in a vast ocean.
WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF I WERE AS INTENT AS A PALAU MASTER? It had been a long time since I asked myself what I wanted. What if my center was my compass?
“Small is the number of them that see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts.” — ALBERT EINSTEIN, THE WORLD AS I SEE IT
“Let me listen to me and not to them.” -- GERTRUDE STEIN
Find the still point.
I want to find that midpoint–that still point–in myself that interconnects ‘what is’ to my mind, heart, and gut in such a way that I am rooted to the center of the Earth. It will steady me, when all else fails and my beloved others die (or leave).
EVEN THEN, I NAVIGATE TO BETTER—ONE SMALL, SWEET ISLAND AT A time. I can trust in such a compass.
Shelter in Grace Sound Meditation YouTube Channel
Sustainable Caregiving in sweet small steps...and two books:
"I read it all night. It was funny and useful." - A.W.
|
|
|
|
TWO BOOKs AND AUDIBLE Recordings:
BEGIN AGAIN has the first 8 gifts... The Field Guide has ALL the gifts...
Both are about caregiving as a circle of care & that includes you.
© COPYRIGHT 2017-2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
PRIVACY POLICY
BEGIN AGAIN has the first 8 gifts... The Field Guide has ALL the gifts...
Both are about caregiving as a circle of care & that includes you.
© COPYRIGHT 2017-2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
PRIVACY POLICY