A Hospice Chaplain's Field Guide to Caregiving
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RE: renewable caring

For those who show up...however they can for love

…caregiving of yourself and your others …and the world

to be better gardeners of our ONE WILD AND PRECIOUS LIFE….

Eulogy for a M.A.I.D. Patient

9/6/2021

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The medical aid in dying legislation allows patients to apply for and take an end-of-life cocktail. This is new to people in hospice.  We are still sorting through and sitting with the differences. For example, as Interfaith spiritual hospice care, I create eulogies and memorial services after the patient dies.  This one was sp0ken to my patient.  He liked it...and I read it on his deathday...to him.
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​Eulogy & Prayer for L.C. 
September 4, 2021 9 AM PDT

 
May all that we say
and all that we do be in harmony with thee,
God within me,
God beyond me…
Maker of the Trees.
 
Today L.C. will meet the Maker of Trees.
A carpenter, the grandson of a farmer, brother, and uncle to his family but also a friend, and teacher to the wider world…the teacher for many young men to be better in the world… to be makers in the world.
 
Holy One of Many Names, We ask that OUR hearts be open to see more clearly...To see your presence is with us all &…always…underneath the many misunderstandings of love that get in the way of seeing. Open OUR hearts now…that we might move motes and logs from our eyes…to see deeper and more clearly….       

The light we can see with our eyes in goes out gently at our end…but this man has made a life around following a more evergreen light– your everlasting light–to the best of his ability, which is all that you ask of us, here while on this Earth.
 
Maker of all THINGS, Receive this carpenter, who taught many of your sons the skills of life crafting…of responsibility and of forming useful things… of fixing things… making broken parts into a whole to the best of his ability.
 
These teachings form his legacy…like a rock thrown into a still pool, the ripples expand from this point and move outward…growing more of itself as it moves into the world, making waves, which meet others to create more waves…of itself – of kindness, responsibility and love… He leaves this world a better place for his brother, sister, nephews and family but also for the greater world… in the legacy of teaching responsibility, kindness, and being a maker of things…not a destroyer.
 
He now places the unfinished projects of his heart into your care waiting…as seeds in good soil.
 
Receive this carpenter not because he used what he had to create more good, which he did, but simply because of love…he is a beloved son who has finally come home… & come home to your call.  And he has met that call by reaching back to you, responding to your call with the same consideration and kindness for others, which formed his life.
 
It is our honor here, to wait with L.C. on this edge of life, surrounded by and supported by the arms of God, the Maker of All Things…

May he feel this love now and be welcomed home…to the place we all come from …and the place to which we will all go, when it is our time.
 
May all that we say
and all that we do be in harmony with thee,
God within me,
God beyond me…
Maker of the Trees.
 
Amen.
 


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Acornology & Change

4/3/2021

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PicturePhoto by Leah Kelly, Pexels
The acorn is a seed with a nature and destiny to become…an oak tree.  It is our nature and  destiny to become…

We are not broken but blessed.
 

When we are in grief…from the little losses of a normal human life…or the big losses of death…we must go to ground.
 
Grief cracks us open.  Pandemics crack us open. Death cracks us open. Go to ground..
 
Go to the ground of our being, and a world of growth and possibility opens up, (ahem)... after a time.
 

Can Grief be Medicine?

It was for me...and I handled it badly. 
I accumulated so many little griefs that I was numb by the time the big hitters came by.  I wrote about it...until I was empty. It worked for me. (and I created a book with gifts for you...should you be wise enough or courageously curious enough to want to hear another's story: Her is a link)

Grief offers up for your review that which changes...contrasting with that which DOES NOT CHANGE.  This is inner work.  It is a spiritual journey.

I did not know how to process feelings as they came (feel them ...and let them go) much less allow my support system in.  I thought I was along. I was not.

I am not and neither are you.

But by far the most important thing is to have faith in a friendly universe...and that change is not a bad thing.

A Sound Meditation about Change:

A story about change by Jacob Needleman


Once upon a time, in land not so far away, there was a kingdom of acorns, nestled at the foot of a grand old oak tree.  Since the citizens of this kingdom were modern, fully Westernized acorns, they went about their life with a purposeful energy; and since they were midlife baby boomer acorns, they engaged in a lot of self-help courses. There were seminars called “Getting all you; can out of your shell” and Who would you be without your nutty story?” There were woundedness and recovery groups for acorns who had been bruised in their fall from the tree.  There were spas for oiling and polishing those shells and various acornopathic therapies to enhance longevity and well-being.
 
One day in the midst of this kingdome there suddenly appeared a knotty little stranger, apparently dropped out of ht eblue by a passing bird.  He was capless and dirty, making an immediate negative impression on his fellow acorns.  And to make things worse, crouched beneath the mighty oak tree, he stammered out a wild tale.  Pointing up at the tree, her said “We…are…that!”
 
Delusional thinking, obviously, the other acorns concluded, but htye continued ot engage him in conversation: “ So tell us, how do we…become tht tree?”  “Well, said he, pointing downward, “it has something to do with going into the ground…and cracking open te shell.”Insane tht responded.  “Totally morbid! Why then we wouldn’t be acorns anymore.”
 
We are that.

Acornology – by Jacob Needleman, retold by Cynthia Bourgeault in the Wisdom Way

A Hafiz Poem ...about the biggest &
most mysterious change

I used to know my name.
Now I don’t. I think a river understands me. 
For what does it call itself in that blessed
moment when it starts emptying into the
Infinite Luminous Sea,

and opening every aspect of self wider than
it ever thought possible?

Each drop of itself now running to embrace
and unite with a million new friends.

And you were there, in OUR union with All.  Hafiz


Attributions & Inspirations

1. I am inspired.  By Rev. Mark Fuss. Unity booklet Courage to Imagine.
2. Acornology – by Jacob Needleman, retold by Cynthia Bourgeault in the Wisdom Way
3. A Year with Hafiz, translated by Daniel Ladinsky.
4. Breathing Underwater - Richard Rohr



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The Audible book is really lovely to walk with...and savor
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These translations will change you!
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Get one on Amazon here;
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Sound to Stay awake...and to sleep with...

12/6/2020

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Max Richters piece Dream 3 (in the midst of my life)
Like many others, I stumbled into Zoom to support people. Almost 200 YouTube sound meditations later, I am on sabbatical  for the holidays and thinking about what i might offer in January 2021 when I begin again. What do I need? What does the world need.  My answer to both is rest. This post is about a composer who makes music to help us sleep: Max Richter may be in your COVID-19 necessary coping toolkit...

The Work of Max Richter is a COVID-19 toolkit must.

The intention for my sound meditations are to help us STAY AWAKE yet still open hearted in order to continue to show up in the world, which needs us to do so... but sound can also help us sleep.
As I started researching how sound might help us do this, I came across an artist whose work has gracefully delved into "What kind of music would I want if I am sleeping?"  (LINK to it here)  Max Richter sees music as an extension of natures balance and symmetry...for growth.

Max Richter' sleep music for your Covid-19 coping kit.

PictureMax Richter does music compositions for sleep - One lasts 8 hours - this link is called SLEEP 2 & lasts 2 minutes...
As a hospice chaplain, I support many in the scariest places they have ever journeyed: to the edge of life. It is the edge of our known world. My intention in my own work is to walk with people to enough ease...to support people in staying awake...while actively giving care in the world. 

Because insomnia is rampant here...on the edge of the known world...and we need "a place to rest".

PictureMax Richter walking in a Los Angeles outdoor venue with an interviewer...before the concert there in 2018
And he made music (and a film) for SLEEPING PEOPLE..."to help us navigate our way through the chaos that we live in..."

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Max Richer at the Sydney Opera House...performing sleep

Max Richter Composes with the symmetry of nature...

Max Richter composed a piece of music that lasts 8 hours and is derived from the symmetry of nature.  He has, before COVID-19 restrictions, performed it to sleeping audiences...on cots in symphony halls and outside in amphitheatres for eight hours.  It is lovely.  I would like to recommend it and many other sleep pieces for your COVID-19 coping tool kit

We need to find harmony and growth.  Max Richter sees it in fibonacci
numbers and the symmetry of nature...

May it help you too this holiday season.

SHELTER IN GRACE Sound Meditations may help you stay awake...May it be so.  Thank you for your support too.
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    EM Hager
    Author, Bereavement & Spiritual care, Sound meditation guide.

    "Look deeply into nature and you will understand everything human"
               – Albert Einstein

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Sustainable Caregiving in sweet small steps...and two books:

"I read it all night.  It was funny and useful." - A.W.        
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                         TWO BOOKs AND AUDIBLE Recordings:
     BEGIN AGAIN has the first 8 gifts...                                                           The Field Guide has ALL the gifts... 

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