A Hospice Chaplain's Field Guide to Caregiving
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RE: renewable caring

For those who show up...however they can for love

…caregiving of yourself and your others …and the world

to be better gardeners of our ONE WILD AND PRECIOUS LIFE….

FAITH: PLACE your BETS

7/11/2020

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We all have uncertainty in our pandemic ridden world…in my personal world …where I am employed… things are changing with my several hospices.

Oddly they seem to all be changing at the same time. It is triggering me, what I was thinking was diversified risk spread over many sources of income was secure…right?

Life is AGAIN asking me to touch my story of fear…Mine is called “not enough” and it seems to be woven into my DNA… but it is not. 



“Faith is the assurance of things hoped for
And the conviction of things unseen.”

“The most important question anyone can ask… says Einstein (probably)
the answer will either contract your life in fear or open you up with options:
“Is the Universe a friendly place?’”  

Joyous wager…
An inherent believe in the goodness of the unseen is a bet worth placing. 
– No. 27

My DNA is well made & divinely inspired but...


My DNA is well made and divinely inspired... I have the whole of the Kingdom of God inside me…
God is in me not like a raisin is in a bun…God is in me like an ocean is in a wave.
                                    –Eric Butterworth

Not enough…This is a STORY…I am NOT this story.  But it is a  reoccurring story in my upbringing – in all human beings really…will I be ok?  Will I have enough?  Who do I trust to help me?

For me today the question is more about surrender.  I can’t reason with this story.  I don’t know how to fix this…so I will rely faith and bet on a friendly universe. Faith is not about understanding...it is about trust.


    “Trust the steady, simple thing over the complex, clever thing. Bet on the good in people.”             – Seth Godin

COVID-19 is the pressure cooker du Jour

I surrender all this noise in my head… to a friendly universe.

I have noticed that life is simply this practice. This is the spiritual journey to peace. I have seen over and over how in my life and those I support as a hospice and bereavement chaplain how life seems perfectly created – moment to moment – to trigger what is yet to be healed in us…in me

We are being changed…COVID-19 is the pressure cooker du Jour…it brings things up that need to be healed.  Racism, Sexism Ageism…

“The most important question anyone can ask is ‘Is the Universe a friendly place?’”  – Albert Einstein

Here is the remedy…it’s simple and steady and powerful.

The answer will either contract your life in fear or open you up with options.

Here is the remedy…it’s simple and steady and powerful.

Bet on Einstein’s  friendly Universe.  Gamble on that which will propel you forward. Make an investment. Have some faith.

Bet on the good in people…even if they don’t share their politics or religion or taste in clothes. 

Right now, some new opportunity is growing in the dark- in the good dirt of my life… your lives. Perhaps it has been waiting for us to notice and nurture it for a long time

ATTRIBUTIONS:


1)    Seth Godin – a metaphysical marketer and blogger
2)    The bible – Hebrews 11:1
3)    Einstein – probably said it…
4)    My book Rule no. 27 Joyous Wager.

    I Got Kin
Plant.     So that your own heart. Will grow
Love, so God will think, aHHHH, I got kin in that body! …
Sing.   Because this is a food. Our starving world Needs. Laugh    Because that is the purest Sound.    
       – by Hafiz – 13th century Sufi poet


  • If you enjoyed this linked sound meditation – please Subscribe on Youtube.
  • If you are caregiving – try my monthly email – Taking Care Resilience News signup
  • If you want to attend the LIVE RECORDING SESSION for SHELTER in GRACE SOUND MEDITATION for your One Wild and Precious Life,  they are WEDNESDAY thru SUNDAY @9:45 Pacific Time - link Sound meditation with Rev. Eleesabeth or go to UnitySF.com Website and search virtual offerings...

THANK YOUS
My thanks to Mary Oliver for her  line from THE SUMMER DAY. – my one wild and Precious Life.


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The Health Stumble...and Dance

7/10/2020

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EM Claire’s poem talks about stumbles…and grace in the stumbles…i.e.the benefits of a friendly Universe.

This is a simple lesson…but deep. It’s not a LESSON for beginners.

To hear the lesson in a stumble...or even just to  be willing to hear that the seeming failure or illness not about them…i.e. the judgment from them…of the others…from the world.  It’s about something deeper inside... me.

If we are spiritual beings having a human experience – as Telehard de Chardain says, it means we are whole already…as spiritual beings…but in our humanness we experience disturbances… Illness pain and suffering..


The Best Dancers

“Maybe God keeps me here like this
To stumble a little.
If I were to suddenly just turn into light,
Blinding even myself
To the most precious and necessary illusions

Then what hand could hold my own?
Where would rest a weary head?
What good use for warm hearts:
For hot tears?
Why eyes to see?
Why arms to open?
Which lovefamily to fall into?

Oh, only the best dancers know
What grace
Every stumble
Contains."    – EM CLAIRE


"We are spiritual beings having a human experience." – as Telehard de Chardain


Caregiving: Spiritual Maintenance

The ocean between these two: the spiritual body and the human body is about caregiving of yourself and your loved ones: spiritual maintenance.

Undeniably pain is part of this human journey…but is suffering?

We DO NOT suffer when we speak the story of unconditional love in a friendly universe. When we embody that love story we are vibrantly healthy. But it's easy to forget.  We forget whose and who we are in our fearful wanderings

Getting back to wholeness and health?

It’s a journey in which the whole of the human race accompanies us; we have KINSHIP here – Radical Kinship…(a term by Fr. Greg Boyle and subject of the meditation yesterday by same name)
Caring: self-care and caregiving, is OUR collective and individual healing journey:the ocean between the spiritual body and the human body is caregiving of yourself and your loved ones…

Caregiving is spiritual maintenance and it begins with two things.

Be WILLING
We become willing to hear the disturbances… to hear the lesson…or even just be willing to hear the disturbing story we are telling ourself… under our longings; under the chronic, and the painful.  

    ◆    What disturbs you?
    ◆    What story is coming up?

TELL A BETTER STORY…a LOVE Story
We need to remind ourselves to tell a better story…
•    The truer story of what does not change.  
•    The Eternal story of an unconditional, accepting  love that heals.

We start with knowing that we are not any of the stories we tell – but there are helpful ones and damaging ones, to be sure.
We are spiritual beings with the whole of the kingdom of God inside us.  We are, as Rev. Eric Butterworth says,  “God is inside us …not like a raisin is in a bun but like an ocean is in a wave.”

How do we get back to wholeness and health?
We become willing to speak the story of unconditional love…persistently and unceasingly.  This love is deep at the core of me AND is our most precious NATURAL resource for our lives and a kinder,  just world. We stay open.
Let go of your negative judgments of  yourself, your cells, your body, and even your fears…
Replace them with Love story.

I Got Kin  by Hafiz

Plant.     So that your own heart. Will grow

Love, so God will think, aHHHH, I got kin in that body! I should start inviting that soul over for coffee and rolls.”

Sing.   Because this is a food. Our starving world. Needs.

Laugh      Because that is the purest Sound.   



WHAT IS your AFFIRMATION on your stumbles for love today?

What do you affirm for your one wild and precious life today?

What’s in the way of kinship with yourself?

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Originally prepared for 100 th session of SHELTER in GRACE – a Sound meditation for your ONE WILD & PRECIOUS LIFE July 10th, 2020

The NEW by line is attributed to Mary Oliver in her most well known line from THE SUMMER DAY.

ATTRIBUTIONS:
1)    The best dancers by EM Claire – Silent Sacred Holy Deepening Heart
2)    Hafiz I got Kin – the GIFT – translation Daniel Ladinsky

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
  • If you enjoyed this linked sound meditation – please Subscribe on Youtube.
  • If you are caregiving – try my monthly email – Taking Care Resilience News signup
  • If you want to attend the LIVE RECORDING SESSION for SHELTER in GRACE SOUND MEDITATION for your One Wild and Precious Life,  they are WEDNESDAY thru SUNDAY @9:45 Pacific Time - link Sound meditation with Rev. Eleesabeth or go to UnitySF.com Website and search virtual offerings...

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Netflix Bingeing, Rest, & the Journey...

1/10/2020

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Picture
Restoratative?
I admit that I may have a problem...I love my life and what I do but... sometimes my need for distraction gets a little alarming. Police procedurals work well. I like the ones, which are not too bloody, and generally where they get the bad guy (or girl) within the 45 minute format. I am not above "Cozy Mysteries" in the English genre traditions, too. Science fiction is also a good fit for me as I like science and new, interesting ways of thinking about humanity and our collective learning edges.  All these shows reinforce my idea of a hopeful but, indeed, changing world; they also relax my mind, a bit, and take me out of other people's stories, of which I hear quite a lot. 

They are also a form of rest. Restorative activities, ones that we can take in, are very important to find and employ.  Right? Maybe digital detox can work in reverse. It eases the stories out of our heads and programs us with new stories...this can be good, as long as we are discerning in our choices, right?


But what is too much? Two shows? Four shows? Six in a row?
Let's set aside the addictive way each new show on Netflix (and other streaming services) rarely end on a satisfying note. They create a skillful climactic up tick that hooks and funnels you into the next episode (STARTING IN 3 SECONDS...).  HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH?

More Qualitative than Quantitative: meditation as discernment
The real question that is up for me is: What is underneath my need for distraction?
The answer could be very different on different bingeing...days. Maybe it is boredom?  Or fatigue? My own lack of imagination? Maybe it is fear?

This is why I must meditate each day....to be awake to what I am doing and how I am using my time...because none of us have all the time in the world. 

Here is another question that came to me from my spiritual director because she knows my need to strive.  (I can't help it; efforting is part of my inbred prairie constitution
.) Here it is.  See if it changes your life, like it is changing mine.


                 What is the highest return on my soul's mission... &               
                  (wait for it...) EASIEST for me to do?
- Rev. Dr. Megan Wagner

Maybe the distraction is generative? Or perhaps, it is bridging me to some insight.

Maybe it is play.
Play Daily is a rule of mine. Play is part of the journey...actually maybe it IS the journey. What if, (and this is another question from that same wise woman...) it was of the UPMOST importance to the Universe, (to the Holy, to the Almighty, to the Holy One of Many Names,) that we are in play and joy? 

What if that was the ultimate use?  It is an important question, right up there with how much MORE can I do? More. More. More, which leads to the idea that we don't have enough ...or are not enough just as we are.

It is good marketing, of course, for product sales but not fodder for the good life. Gratitude is fodder for a good life. It is a superpower.

My Playtime: Did I mention that I am recording an audible book?

(I am also binge watching a Canadian Sci Fi series called The Travelers, which is a kinder and gentler bodysnatchers who are trying to save the world in 3 seasons. It is thoughtful...and a lot of fun.)

Have fun today... that is our job, too.



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Daily Habits to Make You Sustainable

12/11/2019

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PictureA neighbor gave me this reminder of how the small...can be so very bright.
I learn my own critical lessons at my patient's bedside each day (which I already knew...but  apparently keep forgetting). 

Life reminds me as watch over them. I find this curious. Frankly, it both sucks and is lovely in equal measure. And it's, for sure, humbling.

As a hospice and bereavement chaplain, I  support people who are near the end of their term here...and those who are reconciling their lives after the loss of a dear one.  The edge of life and death, reminds me about how to keep my own life, well-lived by those very small and powerful habitual methods...each day.                 

Practicing the small powers...
I am seeing the power of dailiness in beneficial habits and rituals. Those little daily tasks that are almost automatic for us can be grand boosts to our lives taken on the whole.  What do I practice daily?

In my life, I have more commonly used grand efforts, all-in ventures, and dramatic grabs at the success ring du jour. For example, my body's illusionary capacity for long hours and hard work is one, and my wilfulness in forcing and pushing things and people (ahem...usually politely) along on my prescribed path to the promised land of Secretariat-like wins.

What I practice accumulates and compounds rewards. My personality is quite a bit more artistic than methodical, so this revelation does not come naturally to me. By 'methods', I mean that I/we/you do NOT have to be original in everything, but the benefits of PRACTICING the proven and even ancient paths reap for us exponentially.  I can, effectively, renew me, and not get depleted in the first place.
Focusing on my own sustainability, and modeling self-care-as-a-circle for others, I need to be wiser...and more methodical in the dailiness of my own life. 
The even better news is these small ancient methods are at hand. They are both always available and simple. 

Breath and death is mother to us all. Right?

Modeling self-care-as-a-circle
Your breath is your first task, which it was the moment you were born. It was, literally, the first thing you ever did. It will also be all our last tasks on this Earth - pretty much by definition. But do we think about the quality and power of it, daily? A Good life in our /this middle passage depends on it.

Breathe like a Diva is our first method of power.  This is, of course, not new information... The other usual suspects are here:
  • Self care - (ahem...is not selfish)
  • Self Inquiry - (A life unexamined life Is not worth living." Socrates)
  • Service to others - There are so many thing that need doing, which actually heal me/ us in doing them.
  • Self expression - "It is of upmost importance to the Universe that we be in play and joy.  It is the ultimate use." - Dr. Megan Wagner,
Meditation, journaling, volunteering, exercising, yoga, resting and ...play daily are the medicine and the antidotes for the speed and stressors of our modern world.  These methods taken daily bring us back to our own center and from this place we can see again our best life from the opportunities right in front of us.

But I propose a re-framing here... 
I suggest some more inspired 'habit' categories, which might help us/me think about them more creatively... yet still in methodical ways.  How about these?
  • Sacred Play - What thought stream or activity transfixes you so you delightfully that you lose track of time?  Be curious about that. What is nudging you ? What is patiently waiting to be (re) discovered.
  • Spiritual Mischief - Random Acts of Kindness and Senseless Acts of Beauty... make the world anew.
  • Embodied Joy - Walk around in nature's beauty. Pray. Dance. Massage anyone?
These categories are my new inspiration. Of course, I have known their power and how to be / do them even when I was a kid.  I did know this, too, as a young person but I have drifted away from me, in my work-a-holic grasping.

The good news is this innate wisdom is at hand.  It may seem to drift away but it only settles in deeper.  It is waiting for me/you/us, patiently in our dark, as we drop down to our heart centers or (in a more Judeo-Christian framework... to our kingdom of god within).  How we fill up these categories will light up our lives - daily.  Do that. (Paraphrased from Howard Thurman...).  Make it your method, your new small habit. No time?  Do it for 5 minutes. See where it takes you. This spark will light you up. It will breathe life back into all the days we have... 

Heart, tell them what you came for
Heart, tell them what you came for
Heart, tell them what you've been daydreamin' about
                                         - James Blake, Tell Them

Care to share your categories, methods or daily habits that inspire and renew you?  We need your spark and voice because sparks begat sparks...

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8 minutes of fresh, ancient wisdom:    'The Good Enough Daily'

11/6/2018

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PictureLouise Hay, Cheryl Richardson have wonderful card decks...these are just a few of the ones I use each day.
I have started a daily practice of gathering serendipitous wisdom from the day.  I have a plan to create something more public–perhaps a video or audio daily live chat called "The Good Enough Daily". It is on a long list of possibles: TBD.

But until then, let me tell you about them on the hopes that it may inspire you to do the same. Here are some I use...there are so many card decks out there...
  • (various) Unity's card decks - link Amazon
  • Louise Hay's Power Thought Cards - link Amazon
  • Cheryl Richardson's Grace Cards - link Amazon
  • Self Care Cards - link Amazon

I draw cards as part of my waking up process...usually with coffee.  They are part of my own spiritual practices each day to help me taking care of myself...and keep my inner balance as I take care of many each day as a hospice chaplain.

This is also for the fifteen MILLION unpaid caregivers who are doing the daily, chaotic work of caring for their infirm loved ones.

Much like my weekly sound meditations in San Francisco, I listen for what is 'in the room'.  There I ask people to <quickly> check in:
  • How was your week? Your day?
  • What came up for you? What is troubling you? Sticking to you?
  • Any celebratory events or challenges?
Then I paint the watercolor of what the sound, silence and poetry might be of support to those and what is 'in the room'.

It's a form of meditative improv in service of love. So is drawing cards every morning.

Improv 'What is" is one of the rules in the Fieldguide. Any of its many forms of implementation is a good practice for me. You see my (prairie, bootstrapped) inclination is to want to get 'it' perfect and over prepare for whatever... 

Life is not that way. All I (and you) have to do is show up knowing we are enough...and worthy to be participating in what is in front of us.  Then we do the best we are able. Both (preaching) ministers at my Unity Church in San Francisco are stellar at improv on the stage...but for me it is a learning edge.

Because we all have our edges.  At last Sunday's meditation, several people spoke about the edge between what shows up in the world and what shows up inside us...and then there is the pause.  This is the place of choice...do we choose to react, respond? Are we triggered?  Are we needing to be right?  This is the same edge for us all.

Reading the Day
It is in same way that I draw several cards from my various (and lovely) spiritual card decks each morning and take a moment (but not too many moments...) to see if there a pattern to the cards drawn.   I then read this wisdom and speak about it for eight minutes, because who has a lot of time in the mornings?

...and I have theme music, too.  "Good Enough" by Karen Drucker.  She is awesome, if you are not familiar with her as both a songwriter and a performer.  Check out her song if you want a lift to your day.

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    EM Hager
    Author, Bereavement & Spiritual care, Sound meditation guide.

    "Look deeply into nature and you will understand everything human"
               – Albert Einstein

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Sustainable Caregiving in sweet small steps...and two books:

"I read it all night.  It was funny and useful." - A.W.        
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                         TWO BOOKs AND AUDIBLE Recordings:
     BEGIN AGAIN has the first 8 gifts...                                                           The Field Guide has ALL the gifts... 

Both are about caregiving as a circle of care & that includes you.  
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