A Hospice Chaplain's Field Guide to Caregiving
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RE: renewable caring

For those who show up...however they can for love

…caregiving of yourself and your others …and the world

to be better gardeners of our ONE WILD AND PRECIOUS LIFE….

Daily Habits to Make You Sustainable

12/11/2019

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PictureA neighbor gave me this reminder of how the small...can be so very bright.
I learn my own critical lessons at my patient's bedside each day (which I already knew...but  apparently keep forgetting). 

Life reminds me as watch over them. I find this curious. Frankly, it both sucks and is lovely in equal measure. And it's, for sure, humbling.

As a hospice and bereavement chaplain, I  support people who are near the end of their term here...and those who are reconciling their lives after the loss of a dear one.  The edge of life and death, reminds me about how to keep my own life, well-lived by those very small and powerful habitual methods...each day.                 

Practicing the small powers...
I am seeing the power of dailiness in beneficial habits and rituals. Those little daily tasks that are almost automatic for us can be grand boosts to our lives taken on the whole.  What do I practice daily?

In my life, I have more commonly used grand efforts, all-in ventures, and dramatic grabs at the success ring du jour. For example, my body's illusionary capacity for long hours and hard work is one, and my wilfulness in forcing and pushing things and people (ahem...usually politely) along on my prescribed path to the promised land of Secretariat-like wins.

What I practice accumulates and compounds rewards. My personality is quite a bit more artistic than methodical, so this revelation does not come naturally to me. By 'methods', I mean that I/we/you do NOT have to be original in everything, but the benefits of PRACTICING the proven and even ancient paths reap for us exponentially.  I can, effectively, renew me, and not get depleted in the first place.
Focusing on my own sustainability, and modeling self-care-as-a-circle for others, I need to be wiser...and more methodical in the dailiness of my own life. 
The even better news is these small ancient methods are at hand. They are both always available and simple. 

Breath and death is mother to us all. Right?

Modeling self-care-as-a-circle
Your breath is your first task, which it was the moment you were born. It was, literally, the first thing you ever did. It will also be all our last tasks on this Earth - pretty much by definition. But do we think about the quality and power of it, daily? A Good life in our /this middle passage depends on it.

Breathe like a Diva is our first method of power.  This is, of course, not new information... The other usual suspects are here:
  • Self care - (ahem...is not selfish)
  • Self Inquiry - (A life unexamined life Is not worth living." Socrates)
  • Service to others - There are so many thing that need doing, which actually heal me/ us in doing them.
  • Self expression - "It is of upmost importance to the Universe that we be in play and joy.  It is the ultimate use." - Dr. Megan Wagner,
Meditation, journaling, volunteering, exercising, yoga, resting and ...play daily are the medicine and the antidotes for the speed and stressors of our modern world.  These methods taken daily bring us back to our own center and from this place we can see again our best life from the opportunities right in front of us.

But I propose a re-framing here... 
I suggest some more inspired 'habit' categories, which might help us/me think about them more creatively... yet still in methodical ways.  How about these?
  • Sacred Play - What thought stream or activity transfixes you so you delightfully that you lose track of time?  Be curious about that. What is nudging you ? What is patiently waiting to be (re) discovered.
  • Spiritual Mischief - Random Acts of Kindness and Senseless Acts of Beauty... make the world anew.
  • Embodied Joy - Walk around in nature's beauty. Pray. Dance. Massage anyone?
These categories are my new inspiration. Of course, I have known their power and how to be / do them even when I was a kid.  I did know this, too, as a young person but I have drifted away from me, in my work-a-holic grasping.

The good news is this innate wisdom is at hand.  It may seem to drift away but it only settles in deeper.  It is waiting for me/you/us, patiently in our dark, as we drop down to our heart centers or (in a more Judeo-Christian framework... to our kingdom of god within).  How we fill up these categories will light up our lives - daily.  Do that. (Paraphrased from Howard Thurman...).  Make it your method, your new small habit. No time?  Do it for 5 minutes. See where it takes you. This spark will light you up. It will breathe life back into all the days we have... 

Heart, tell them what you came for
Heart, tell them what you came for
Heart, tell them what you've been daydreamin' about
                                         - James Blake, Tell Them

Care to share your categories, methods or daily habits that inspire and renew you?  We need your spark and voice because sparks begat sparks...

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    EM Hager
    Author, Bereavement & Spiritual care, Sound meditation guide.

    "Look deeply into nature and you will understand everything human"
               – Albert Einstein

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Sustainable Caregiving in sweet small steps...and two books:

"I read it all night.  It was funny and useful." - A.W.        
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                         TWO BOOKs AND AUDIBLE Recordings:
     BEGIN AGAIN has the first 8 gifts...                                                           The Field Guide has ALL the gifts... 

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